My Brain Finally Shut Up

You're not just "tired." It's so much worse than that.

It ruins everything. Work, your relationships, anything you used to find enjoyable... There's a reason sleep deprivation is used as a torture tactic. String enough bad nights of sleep in a row, and you'll find yourself yelling at your cat for purring too loud, on top of feeling a new, mysterious pain in your bones that doesn't seem to go away.

You're exhausted. Body completely done. You lie down, close your eyes, and then your brain decides now is the perfect time to spin up a slideshow of all your regrets and upcoming deadlines.

This goes on until around 2:15am, at which point you fall into something that barely qualifies as sleep. Then your alarm goes off and you spend the next fourteen hours feeling like a phone stuck at 12%.

That was me. For longer than I want to admit.

I tried melatonin first, because everyone tries melatonin first. Put me down fine, woke me up at 3am feeling mildly poisoned.

After that, I tried every OTC option I could find. They'd knock me out cold, then return me to the world eight hours later feeling like I'd been stored in a shed.

You try the phone apps that are supposed to lull you into sleep, but then you wake up a few minutes later panicking, disoriented, and looking for your earbuds. And for some reason, that trick doesn't work so well the second time.

I even got one of those fancy smartwatches that's supposed to track your sleep every night. And it just told me what I already knew — I slept like crap.

Then a friend told me about Cheech & Chong's Nice Dreams Gummies.

My first thought was that it was just a novelty item. Something you buy as a joke gift alongside a vintage lighter. Not something that was going to fix ten years of terrible sleep.

But my second thought was, "well, I have tried literally everything else..."

Each gummy has 3mg THC and 5mg CBN — both hemp-derived, legal under the Farm Bill. The THC gets you down. CBN is the more interesting piece — a quieter cannabinoid that keeps you there, working differently than a regular edible. Valerian root, L-tryptophan, chamomile. No melatonin anywhere on the label, which as personally established, was not my ally.

It was strange...I didn't feel "high." It was more that the volume on my brain turned down — the thought spiral that usually picks up speed around 10pm just sort of lost momentum on its own. Not sedated. Just tired in the way a person is actually supposed to feel tired.

Then I was asleep.

Then it was morning.

Miraculously, I hadn't woken up a single time in the middle of the night. Honestly, I can't tell you the last time that happened.

And to my surprise, I felt present, clear, and functional. Not foggy. Not like I'd been dragged through something. I felt like I'd finally slept.

I've taken one every night since. And take a look at these sleep scores:

As with anything, if I was going to start taking this every night, I needed to know how they worked.

Turns out the company is very legitimate. Nice Dreams are made in a FDA-registered facility, and third-party lab tested. On top of all this, they guarantee them for life. Not thirty days, not sixty — life. When's the last time you saw anything guaranteed for life?

And with thirty gummies per jar, each jar should last me a full month.

But they never actually do. I'm always giving out samples to my friends who are terrible sleepers, like me. And I got to say, they work every time.

We're not the only ones...the company has had to ramp up production three times in the last year just to keep up. Luckily, they just restocked and actually have a new customer offer going on right now. You can save up to 50% when you stock up at cheechandchong.com